How Your Thinking Might Be Hurting You
A pessimist and an optimist are at a bar. The pessimist says "things can’t get much worse”, looking sadly into their drink.
“Yes they can”, said the optimist smiling brightly.
But seriously, you could be excused for feeling pessimistic these days - but it isn’t necessary. And worse, it is counter-productive. While the COVID-19 is plenty to worry about, it isn’t helped by our inherent negativity bias.
The negativity bias is an evolutionary adaption, which means that humans pay more attention to the bad than the good. Roy Baumeister’s 2001 paper (Bad Is Stronger Than Good) explains how we have this for evolutionary reasons – it kept our ancestors alive. Thinking that there’s a tiger when the bush rustled is more likely to have kept us alive than thinking it was a friendly neighbour. If your ancestors didn’t have this bias - you wouldn’t be here now.
You’re not alone either - most people have a negativity bias.
While the negativity bias is good for keeping you alive, it’s bad for the stress, health and longevity. And it certainly won’t help you get bounce back better from the pandemic and lockdown. But you are not stuck with it … Read on to learn about three simple “thinking tricks”, that will help you instantly become more optimistic.
the three elements of pessimism
Ground-breaking research by Martin Seligman, published in his 1991 book, “Learned Optimism” discusses the three dimensions of thinking involved in both optimism and pessimism. They relate to our “explanatory style” ie. how we explain things to ourselves. In pessimistic thinking they are:
Permanence - Pessimists tend to think that bad events are permanent and ongoing. Do you find yourself thinking about the coronavirus as going on for a very long time or forever? And that the changes for the worse will be permanent?
Pervasiveness - when something goes wrong, pessimists think that everything is bad. Do you find your negative thoughts about coronavirus have spilled over into other areas of your life? For example, your marriage, your working situation or something else? Do you still enjoy a sunny day?
Personal - Pessimists tend to think that the things are worse for them personally, or caused by them or directed towards them. Do you take the coronavirus personally? Would you think everybody is in the same boat?
"The glass is half empty" said the pessimist.
"The glass is half full" said the optimist.
"While you dummies were arguing, I drank your water" said the opportunist.
"That wasn't water" said the urologist.
Are You Displaying Pessimistic Thinking Without Realising?
When it comes to good events, pessimists are the opposite i.e. pessimists think the positive events won’t last long, are isolated, and had nothing to do with them. Are you starting to see the problem?
Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar. Every time I have pessimistic thoughts, I put a dollar in... It's currently half empty.
Optimists are the opposite; they think bad events are temporary and that good events are permanent and ongoing. Some people say that both approaches are slightly deluded. But optimists are more successful professionally (up to 50%), have better marriages and health, and live longer. Which would you choose?
What style do you see in your team at the moment? Is there more bad then good, especially for you? Are good events brushed over and not celebrated?
If this is the case, you may be a victim of a pessimistic explanatory style. The good news is, it’s easy enough to change this style.
how to change your explanatory style to make it more optimistic
The best way to adopt a more optimistic, thinking styles to attend one of my seminars. Did you know that optimistic sales people are 31% more effective?
However, if you don’t want to do that (after all, we’ve just met :-)) download my free gift.
And if you don’t even want a free gift (why wouldn’t you?) Then follow these hints:
In a nutshell, you need to reverse the human tendency to explain bad events as permanent, pervasive and personal, and good events as temporary, isolated and outside your control.
So, the next time something bad happens, tell yourself that it is temporary, isolated, and not caused by you. When something good happens explain it to yourself by thinking it’s permanent, pervasive, and you helped make it happen.
What's the difference between an optimist and a pessimist? An optimist created the airplane; a pessimist created the seat belts.
Sometimes It’s Good to Be a Pessimist (but Usually Not)
There are a couple of caveats - you should be pessimistic about potentially catastrophic events. You want your brain surgeon to be prepared for the worst. If you are considering cheating on your partner assume you will be caught. Be prepared for a business downturn, or the loss of all your staff.
However, for most situations it is better to have an optimist explanatory style. Assume the date will go well, your partner loves you, and most people mean well. Assume you will get by, and there are no tigers in the bushes waiting to pounce.
Give it a go, practice being an optimist and see what happens.
PS: When all else fails - it's good to cultivate a sense of humour.